


A lovely mess

by winehwan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, M/M, Not Serious, Texting, What's new, jisung's savage, nomin are soft, the ships are barely there but i gotta slip it in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-07 17:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15912708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winehwan/pseuds/winehwan
Summary: japanese cuisinedoes this mean we're just a bunch of really successful, really gay kidsi'm not taemin you bitchnct in a nutshell tbhstan loona you peasantswhere's the lie





	A lovely mess

**Author's Note:**

> in case you guys get confused: 
> 
> owl - taeil  
> oh daddy - johnny  
> goose goose - taeyong  
> sangnamja - yuta  
> koon - kun  
> stan loona you peasants - doyoung  
> 9+1 - ten  
> you know - jaehyun  
> bean - winwin  
> i'm not taemin you bitch - jungwoo  
> japanese cuisine - yukhei  
> speck - mark  
> soft™ - renjun  
> acorn - jeno  
> yuck - donghyuck  
> squirrel - jaemin  
> chonlo - chenle  
> jisang - jisung

koon _has created_ **_gays unite_**

 

**koon** _has added_ **jisang**

**koon** _has added_ **chonlo**

**koon** _has added_ **soft** ™

**koon** _has added_ **squirrel**

**koon** _has added_ **acorn**

**koon** _has added_ **yuck**

**koon** _has added_ **speck**

**koon** _has added_ **oh daddy**

**koon** _has added_ **9+1**

**koon** _has added_ **goose goose**

**koon** _has added_ **you know**

**koon** _has added_ **bean**

**koon** _has added_ **sangnamja**

**koon** _has added_ **owl**

**koon** _has added_ **stan loona you peasants**

**koon** _has added_ **japanese cuisine**

**koon** _has added_ **i'm not taemin you bitch**

 

 

**9+1**

what is this

kun you're not even gay

 

**koon**  

...

i'm all inclusive 

 

**soft™**

all inclusive would be nct unite

 

**chonlo**

or just unite

just unite would've done the job ¯\\_(° ͜ʖ °)_/¯

 

**jisang**  

sometimes i wonder what ure smoking hyung

 

**koon**  

look this isn't about what i named the fuckign gc ok 

 

**stan loona you peasants**

then enlighten me kun what was this gc supposed to be for

 

**koon**  

¯\\_(⊙_ʖ⊙)_/¯ just thot it was stupid that we as a group do not have a gc

it would help ykno since we live in different dorms and stuff

 

**stan loona you peasants**

for once your reasoning doesn't sound stupid 

 

**koon**

what are you talking about

i'm always very intelligent

 

**goose goose**

snort

 

**oh daddy**

snort x2

 

**you know**

snort x3

 

**bean**

snort x4

 

**yuck**

snort x5

 

**speck**

snort x6

 

**koon**

D: not you too mark

 

**stan loona you peasants**

snort x7

 

**chonlo**

snort x8

 

**squirrel**  

snort x9

 

**soft™**

snort x10

 

**sangnamja**

snort x11

 

**owl**

snort x12

 

**9+1**

snort x13

 

**i'm not taemin you bitch**

snort x14

 

**japanese cuisine**

snort x15

 

**acorn**

snort x16

 

**koon**

ENOIGH WITH THE SNORTING

 

**jisang**

snort x17

 

**koon**

OK FINE

i may not be the most intelligent sometimes

but this was a good idea was it not

 

**owl**

yea i'm surprised nobody else thought of this

 

**goose goose**

kun of all people

 

**koon**

ok 1) fucking r00d

2) this is disrespect

3) yall are such fake friends

 

**chonlo**

no hyung ily <3

 

**koon**

ugh you're too precious 

i only love chenle in this group

 

**soft™**

i suddenly cannot read 

 

**koon**  

[audio file attached]

 

**soft™**

what was that i'm wearing glasses i can't hear anything 

 

**koon**

fuck u

 

**soft™**

sorry but this ass belongs to cha eunwoo

 

**chonlo**

don't i have your ass

 

**acorn**

CHENLE NO

 

**goose goose**

oh honey

 

**bean**

bb pls no

 

**speck**

i did not raise you like this chenle

 

**stan loona you peasants**

is he finally a bent pole

i'm proud of you lele you're doing great

 

**soft™**

do you even know what "having this ass" means lele

 

**chonlo**

.

no but THATS NOT THE POINT

i own renjun ge's ass and that's final

(what's an ass)

 

**soft™**

deletes self from life

 

**squirrel**

let me protect you chenle omg

 

**oh daddy**

you are a literal CHIKD 

 

**chonlo**

i feel so confused WHATS AN A S S

 

**jisang**

NOTHING CHENLE ITS NOTHING

 

**i'm not taemin you bitch**

wait

are you 

do you know what an ass is sungie

 

**jisang**

i have nothing to say

 

**9+1**

gasp

GASP

g a s p

jisung you

 

**japanese cuisine**

are we REALLY surprised tho

 

**sangnamja**

tbh no

 

**owl**

its to be expected 

we are talking about park jisung afterall

chenle's innocent tho we shall not taint him

 

**soft™**

hi yall i'm back from the dead

 

**bean**

where even were you?¿

 

**soft™**

the dead bitch read

 

**yuck**

you were always dead 

yknow

inside

 

**soft™**

disrespect

i'm older than you

 

**owl**

what were you doing anway

 

**soft™**

having an existential crisis

what do you think i would do after zhong fucking chenle told me he owns my ass

 

**bean**

tru tbh

 

**you know**

not surprised

 

**owl**

again

its to be expected

 

**goose goose**

let's not stray from topic yall

 

**sangnamja**

there was no topic to begin with whatchu mean yong

 

**stan loona you peasants**

^

 

**goose goose**

ok well why is this called gays unite hm 

you're not gay kun

unless there's smth you need to tell me

 

**koon**

idk man

majority of yall are not straight

if i were to kick the lgbt members out we'd have like

3 members (?)

sicheng is still under deliberation 

 

**sangnamja**

excuse me but sichengie is a w h o l e  a s s  g a y for me

but who isn't tbh ʅ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʃ

 

**bean**

( ‾ʖ̫‾)

is that bullshit i smell

 

**sangnamja**

deny it all you want chengie

ik you love me <3

 

**bean**

sure

 

**9+1**

shutdown

 

**sangnamja**

fight me ten

with these guns we all know i'd win

 

**you know**

you're so narcissistic today 

what is up man

 

**koon**

ok so 2 members

or maybe 1

 

**i'm not taemin you bitch**

are you trying to tell me jisung is NOT straight

bcuz that would be a s h o c k e r

 

**jisang**

guys are pretty attractive

i wouldn't mind making out w one

 

**koon**

ok then ig 0 members

 

**stan loona you peasants**

you mean

kun¿?

you

y o u??

 

**soft™**

as much fun as this is

its too late for me to watch our resident hets go thru a sexuality crisis

i'm : straight outta here

 

**chonlo**

wait ge i wanna crash with you 2nite

 

**soft™**

just don't touch, bring up, or even breath in the vicinity of my ass

 

**chonlo**

so an ass is a body part?

 

**soft™**

what the fuck 

forget i said anything

 

**you know**

renjun : wakes up with blue balls

 

**soft™**

this is assault

i literally breathed

 

**chonlo**

not in the vicinity of your ass tho :D

 

**soft™**

go to sleep lele pls omg

 

**chonlo** _has gone offline_

**soft** ™ _has gone offline_

 

**yuck**

i'm gonna cry where did chenle get his sense of humor omg 

 

**oh daddy**

have fun kids

pl s dont kill each other

 

**japanese cuisine**

does this mean we're just a bunch of really successful, really gay kids

 

**i'm not taemin you bitch**

nct in a nutshell tbh

 

**stan loona you peasants**

where's the lie

 

**yuck**

k well mark come here i need help w smth

be quick you dwarf

 

**speck**

last time i checked

i was taller than you

 

**yuck**

and your point is

 

**speck**

this is bullying 

whatta fake friend

 

**yuck**

i'm your lover mark get your head out of your ass

 

**speck**

jesus christ ok i'm coming 

 

**yuck** _has gone offline_

**speck** _has gone offline_

 

**japanese cuisine**

damn our kids wildin today

 

**owl**

doyoungie i think you left the stove on

 

**stan loona you peasants**

i

i what

MY PORRIDGE

 

**owl**

i still don't understand why you're cooking porridge at 11

 

**stan loona you peasants**

you said you wanted porridge earlier so i'm giving you porridge

 

**owl**

take my uwus kim dongyoung

 

**stan loona you peasants**

uwus taken

 

**stan loona you peasants** _has gone offline_

 

**owl**

i'm gonna make sure he doesn't burn himself down

 

**owl** _has gone offline_

 

**9+1**

we're such group goals

 

**jisang**

if the goal was to be chaotic gays then yea totally

 

**sangnamja**

if you're from sm and you're not a chaotic gay then you're obvi doin smth wrong

 

**you know**

^TBH

 

**goose goose**

OK KIDS

i think we should sleep now

we got practice tmr

yknow the whole idol thing 

 

**oh daddy**

right that's right

 

**bean**

cmon yuta let's go

 

**bean** _has gone offline_

 

**sangnamja**

if yall think i'm not gonna jump on this opportunity then yall are DEAD wrong

bye ya boy's gunna get some d

 

**sangnamja** _has gone offline_

 

**goose goose**

i told you to rest not fuck

 

**you know**

like we don't do the same

 

**goose goose**

i disown you

 

**you know**

you know you can't

 

**goose goose**

yeah i can't <3

 

**goose goose** _has gone offline_

**you know** _has gone offline_

 

**9+1**

d i s g us ti n g

how uncouth

cmon johnny let's be that cool couple everybody loves and actually go to bed

 

**9+1** _has gone offline_

 

**oh daddy**

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

wear your earplugs tonight kids

 

**oh daddy** _has gone offline_

 

**japanese cuisine**

cmon jungwoo let's cuddle

 

**japanese cuisine** _has gone offline_

 

**i'm not taemin you bitch**

omg you're being soft

bye world i've sold my soul to wong yukhei

 

**i'm not taemin you bitch** _has gone offline_

 

**jisang**

yall are no f.u.n

it's past my bedtime by e

 

**jisang** _has gone offline_

 

**koon**

jisung : says we're no fun

also jisung : has a bedtime

how ironic

also jeno & jaemin my men wyd

 

**acorn**

hi jaemin was being needy

he fell asleep on me

sob

he's so pretty hyung idk what to do

 

**acorn** _has gone offline_

**squirrel** _has gone offline_

 

**koon**

un fuckig believable

 

**koon** _has gone offline_

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
